It's VERY enjoyable still! I like how the story develops and the non typical fantasy plot. Anything with this much originality shows the maturity of the writer.
I'm here because I'd like to put in my two cents worth about the artists who deserve recognition, and the ones that are just stupid. Also, I like making my own art once in a while, so one of these days maybe you'll see something I made up here.
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wweerrdd
This is good. But, there are some places where the flow is lost or at least stumbles. The begining flows beautifully and has a lot of promise, but then it slowly starts to lose focus ... it doesn't kill the story the poem is trying to unveil, but it is noticeable.
Tiredguy
Hey, thanks for leaving a comment! It's the first thing I've written in a very long time, and I can certainly agree it stumbles in certain areas. I hope it's still enjoyable though! :)